Some days you feel alive, content- just as though you’ve moved on and your mind finally seemed to be at ease.
But other days, it sucks the life right out of you.
You find yourself lost in thoughts about the days you’d spent with them.
Or of the false promises- unfulfilled.
You feel daylight stretching; and the still, chilly nights now short-lived.
Moving on, is a process.
Healing, is a process- and a pain stacking; time consuming one at that.
Another hapless thing is:
There’s no fixed duration as to when you will be restored.
You know being with them was not right but it feels all the more wrong to be without them.
You know you’ve got to admit your defeat by now.
Yet, every faces in the dim-lit subway reminds you of them.
You see them in the movies you watch, feel them in the songs you listen and in every little things you do.
Writing this after a Year and eighty one days.
One thing is certain, confronting the truth is the only way out of this procedure.
And your accepting capabilities of the reality decides when you shall see the light of day again.
You don’t have to stop loving them or despise them.
Instead, give your heart it’s due time to regenerate all the vigour you’d lost watching out for them.
And then- Fall in love with yourself all over again.
Isaac Awungshi 